Hey there, fellows!
Tired of being your girlfriend's emotional sounding board?Feel like you're not getting anything in return?
You need:
-- the solution to all your relationship problems!
Simply carry this handy card in your wallet, and when your girlfriend unloads her emotional problems onto you, ask her for a punch. Ten punches can be redeemed for whatever you deserve for putting up with her shit!
- Need someone to do your laundry? NO PROBLEM!
- Want to go out for a night with the guys without getting in trouble? NO PROBLEM!
- Can't get her to wear the Catholic schoolgirl outfit during sex? NO PROBLEM!
Girls -- this card could change your lives! Imagine not feeling guilty anymore about using your boyfriend as a wailing wall! Imagine the freedom that comes from knowing exactly what he wants from you in return! The Punch Card© can make these dreams a reality. No more resentment and insecurity! No more worrying that he'll dump you for a girl with fewer issues! Hell, he'll love your issues -- and he'll love finally getting you to roll over for anal sex even more!
Or, if you don't want to put out, you can finally learn some fucking self-control. Don't Be A Punch Girl©!
The Punch Card©: Because your relationship will never be fair unless someone's keeping score.
©Bitter Prophet Industries. The manufacturer assumes no liability for relationship troubles caused by improper use of The Punch Card©. Offer invalid if holder of card actually does something to cause legitimate complaints. Void where prohibited. Do not combine with other offers. Yes, this is a sick joke. Don't send me any hate mail, please. I have enough trouble dealing with my own stupidity.